Meredith Doomsday

She was making no sense to me at all. Why was she in tears? What was her goal? I could see right through her lies; telling me she had never shared this with anyone else; the way she had staged this moment; and that sick look in her eyes. How did I allow it to come to this? Her tone made me feel trapped; she had led me here, and now I was trapped.

Trapped. I hate closed spaces. The thought of it angers me. Yet there I was; in the palm of her hand.

I stared back at her, giving my best frown. At least she should leave feeling special. I have that effect on people.

“Thank you for sharing this with me”, I said. “It really means a lot.”

At most I was learning about her. And to think, I didn’t even have to try that hard. She was the one on my terms.

She sniffled.

“Would you like a tissue?”
“Yes, please”, she responded, a light smile shaping her lips. “Thanks. I’m glad I got to talk about this.”
“No problem. You can come to me anytime.”

I smiled. “Cheer up. What would you like for dinner? We can have whatever you want.”

And there it was. A look of uncertainty, marking her face, like I had just jostled her back reality. Was she expecting something else? Some deep acknowledgment? A mutual sentiment? So naive! I had spent precious time building her reputation among my most loyal peers, and this was how she was choosing to repay me?

I find it annoying. Weakness is an inconveniencing and embarrassing state. I would not recommend it. Those who choose to be vulnerable make an unjustifiable error. Snot has never been impressive.

I really can not understand why I would give a copy of my master key. And to anyone? To those who have not come to know me and insist I can do better? Those who sneak in, pretend to care about my interests, then carry on with their lives? Even those who treat me like I’m pathetic; a sympathy marked black hole? Why rely on some incompetent person?

No. What people need is strength. They need to see it. There can be no room left for doubt. Confidence is not optional, and only those who see things clearly, like I do, really have a right to excel. Those who question control are sick; fixated on a world that does not exist; bound by their own unfiltered needs.

She was like that, though. It is sad. I thought she was like me; a driven woman who just can not take a ‘no’. She had all the right tools too: education, smarts, the look; things people would give anything for. Apparently, just not what it takes.

“Um, what were you thinking?” She asked.

What a fool.

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